You're so nebulous sometimes
when did we get to this "texting at random" level on friendship?
just chased whiskey with a pickle. i definitely recommend it
She threw up all over when she was giving me dome. Not even gonna lie, it felt really good.
i cleaned out my closet and found 7 beers from 2007. ive had 3 so far.
Yeah, it kinda sucks. But it was fun while it lasted. And honestly, his penis is way too big for my life.
Wow. A quad shot of peppermint schnapps. I feel like I just deep throated a candy cane. Best 21st ever.
When my parents ask if I met any nice guys in California, I'm going to answer, "No, but I have gone home with alot of nice girls". Too much, too soon?
He said "you speak American pretty good for a Canadian" and it took everything in me to still fuck him. Dry spell ended btw
You got a write up and a first aid award all in the same night. The don was impressed!
It looks like a baby bear tried to chew off my nipples.
I'm too high and old for this...
New rule. If he's too busy to put the "H" in "what" then I'm too busy to put his D in me.
It just so happens all of their names are Ryan, so I never have to change whose name I moan.
She turned off her phone alarm (which was the theme song to Star Wars) and then asked me if I wanted a blow job before she went...of course I am going to see her again.
Randomize
