drinking colt 45 because lando calrissian told me to
I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
Now that world cup is done, funneling out of a vuvuzela has lost its fun
Our 450 pound cab driver smells like McDonalds and sunblock with a touch of vodka. Correction I smell like vodka.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we have what I like to call an assload of ramen noodles
I totally left my shirt at your house. Also I think I high fived your cactus last night
He autographed my vag. This fuck just got authentic.
I have poison ivy on my dick
WHAT
His name is Dustib. Not a typo. I just can't.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm crying and shaving my Bronco playoff beard
I'm drunk still and I cried and now I'm watching Whitney Houston singing the national anthem and I'm crying more
Why is there a wet sock in my garbage? Why did I chug so much red wine? Why was someone signing into my iCloud account at 4 am in China? Why do I do self-destructive reckless things? So many questions.
Yo did you say we are blacking out saturday night and playing dodgeball?
Yeah for relay for life. Its for cancer
A dozen naked frat boys in squirrel masks just ran by. Welcome to the official start of the holidays.
he said he only had one rule...that he'd only go down on me 3x a day. so far this is turning into the best relationship ever.
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