I accidentally burped into my bong.
I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
I wish I could drop acid with the muppets
I just had my first uncircumcised penis. I kept staring at it like the foreskin was going to fall off on its own.
Circus confirmed... Jello shots before 9 pm are not cocktails for sucess
Christmas on farmville was waaaaay better than my actual Christmas.
Thanks for telling my landlord that the poop stain was yours and not my secret dog.
If this herpes test comes back negative I'm asking out the doctor.
I just told you I can't. My fingers are melting. I have discovered the high.
Should I tell him the real reason I was in the hospital, or should I just keep him thinking the side effect he thought was in for was allergy related, not I just miscarried the child I didn't know we were having?
On the upside I'm hairless from the waist down. On the downside, I just chemically burned my labia
I have no idea how but i got a hold of a blue food dye packet. And proceeded to rub it all over my tits. So yeah i'd say its safe to say i'll be known as smurfette for a while
Well, I got drunk and told my family about what I expected sexually after a good first date.
The cat was building a spaceship out of the carpet, my legs were cans of tomato sauce, and there was something else in that pot you gave me.
Its like your face is a pile of corn and I'm a chicken
...What??
Randomize
