Miracle whip is the devil's jizz.
soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
I've come to notice a late period isn't as exciting when you have no reason to worry
U of I kids don't fist pump to Sweet Caroline. Get me the fuck out of here.
I wish I has some fucking Fairy God Parents, I want a kit kat so bad.
This needs to stop. I just vacuumed the wall. Adderall is a double edged sword.
I am way too high for this. Some guy just keeps talking about music and life goals and he apparently has lived in every city we mention we are going
I wonder if that one guy remembers you sticking salami to his forehead when he was passed out on new years eve.
That place is a DUI and an STD waiting to happen. I think I'll pass.
Teflon bitches. Nothing fucking sticks to this kid, not even a kid. Maury Povitched this shit outta that situation.
She was bending and I said "finally, about time". Wrong, she was tying her shoe. No blowjobs for me.
If a girl called me a promiscuous philandering Casanova, should I say thank you?
Most definitely.
Did you get any pics? And I can only imagine how inferior you must have felt knowing that somewhere in that room was a guy whose penis was the length of your forearm.
I am in the parking lot of CVS in Auburn. I think a truck full of Plan B and regret just arrived.
I didn’t say it was classy, I said it was sexy
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