i just made out with my boyfriends father...and so did jess
Bonnaroo quote of the day: "why the fuck am i pregnant?!?!" - exclaimed loudly by random hippie.
its like my vagina has this homing beacon out to all the guys saying "come find me, i havent been shaved in weeks"
i'm writing my speech about my 4th grade backstreet boy concert experience. that sums up how seriously i take my life.
Part of my whole not being a slut anymore involves not giving other peoples boyfriends blowjobs
I mean we had sex in a crib. You tell me how my night was.
you took the tequila shot and then procceded to eat the lime..we told you to spit it out but you just straight face kept chomping
An old lady WILL get vomited on today.
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
She wouldnt stop trying to stick her finger in my ass. I wish she wasnt so hot
So do you remember the bartender that caught me when I fell off the bar 4 weeks ago? He hasn't been to work since...Woops.
He's so vague sometimes. Like dude, we've been friends for 3 years. I don't need you to be vague, I need you to be inside of my vagina.
I'm thinking my boss switched to all cordless keyboards and mouses so that none of us would hang ourselves in the office.
It happend again, swimming on the floor... Vodka is my friend
Dog. I woke up between my ex boyfriend witch i'm currently fucking and his bestfriend spooning me in MY bestfriends empty powerless house still really fucked up. No one knows what happend.
Randomize