goodnight i made you a song goodbye
I got laid because I told her I play guitar. I haven't played in 7 years and only know a G chord. I love this place.
New policy: when a woman uses the word blowjob in a sentence within 5 minutes of meeting her, you buy her a drink.
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
You should know me better than that. I don't whore around. I promise this is a blowjobs only kind of trip.
Need. Hospital. Physically am floating.
Pros and cons of selling your underwear to a guy on craigslist. Go.
Come down off the roof.
All you need to do now is invest in a Speedo and start going door to door.
I'm taking myself to the hospital right now b/c there is no way this erection is subsiding in the next 4 hours.
I'll be home next weekend. Its mothers day. Let's party just enough so we are frightened it might be our first
I thought I was heading girls talk. It was the toilet. Like put my ear to it
Would you by any chance know if there is a proper protocol for traveling with one's vibrator? I wouldn't want the TSA to rip open my suitcase in front of my boss.
so.. please tell me you did not really sleep on the washing machine last night
guilty
It was rocky mountain showdown of course we got shitfaced and talked about eating buffaloes
When I found out he was circumcised I called his mother and thanked her
Randomize
