i'm not a human right now. not even a dancer.
There's been so much talk around your vagina it's like a local celebrity
I wish I could put booze in boobs and store it for later. I wouldn't need a flask. For $7000, they should do amazing things like that.
Howd you meet this guy?
I found him next to my pants on sunday morn.
She got a digital picture frame for her birthday. FINALLY - a place for me to sneak all those penis shots I've taken with my iPhone.
Also there's a dick sized hole in my tights...should I be worried?
Its funny that cleaning up pieces of water balloons and shot glasses every morning is becoming a routine
Wanna hang out, and by hang out I mean go get plan B... and maybe lunch, but mostly plan b
My boobs love her too. She makes them feel important even though they're small
Just got smoked out by my boss. Working in politics is great.
I stole an accordion from the bar
Accidentally
I'm having ragrets about stealing the accordion
You are talking to me during sexting hours. Be careful, innuendos are taken seriously
Masturbated while waiting for my face mask to dry, so it was a productive night.
Dude if I had a dollar for everytime she asked me to do weird shit with her when we were fucking I'd have like 4$
That's the only way to watch Gumby. Either age 5 or high.
Randomize
