I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
I woke up with a Nike swoosh shaved into my chest hair. my friend got 3 stitches. my phone had a text that simply read "fuck you". I say it was a good party.
You tried to get the stranger on the sea bus to give you a bite of his chicken sub by repeating over and over "im in a girl band"
I thanked her dad for "firing off a good one" when she was conceived. She said thats why he doesnt like me.
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
Not drinking has really freed up a lot of my time. I made a bracelet yesterday. I miss bars.
dont iron anything. we fucked on the ironing board. details to follow.
What drugs are we doing when you visit?
The correct answer is all the drugs because I just found out they have glow in the dark bubbles.
Yeah. I asked if there was a finger in my ass at some point or if I had a weird dream. So far he hasn't responded
Like I just asked Greg why I don't have a crown for my vagina. That drunk.
Gramp just called her sex-on-a-stick. AKA HE CALLED HER A WHORE. My 75 year old grandfather just called your ex's new thing a whore.
Just got offered cocaine at ihop. Stay classy America.
His hair is as curly as mine. It was like watching me go down on myself.
Not sure what you smoked, but you put raw bacon on the lazy Susan and spent 45 minutes looking at it and mumbling Meat Spin
Your vagina must be outstanding or have a secret entrance to Narnia if someone is will to fly from Texas for one night of it.
Randomize
