All I've ever wanted to do in life is right
Maybe you should learn how to spell write first
I find it ironic that homeless people are so good in bed
He woke up, mumbled "silverware", and went back to sleep
I can already almost taste penis in my mouth
Woke up Christmas Eve morning with my face smelling like ballsack.. No regrets.
She's the second Ashley to meet and blow me in the same night. Sensing a trend.
That awkward moment when you can't tell what smells like tacos: you, the cat, or the strange guys blanket your so tenderly swaddled in.
I just want you to know that we eye fucked the shit out of someone who just got drafted
Random question, but did I leave a spoon on your dresser last night?
Dollar Store pregnancy tests. For when you sorta wanta know.
They have marijuana tests too!
Cool. I might be making a sickly but incredibly well dressed wine drunk appearance in a couple hours
HIS NAME IN MY PHONE IS JOSHUA DREAMCHASER I CAN NOT
NO SHAME NOVEMBER
It's a sad statement on my day when the high point was getting a pap test.
That's actually very serious....I really do think of you whenever is see pizza
Please don't finger me like a jackhammer. I'm a woman not a construction site.
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