i think my tv is drunk
have fun at tinkers! p.s. are there any hot guys who look like they wanna wait until marriage to have sex?
she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
he doesn't have near as many excuses as you..and his are usually pretty legit. like "i'm having a baby." that's pretty legit.
so I called to to smoke and you didn't pick up so I smoked and now I'm a race car
i just overheard a girl at the next table saying she gave up sex for lent
don't you ever do that...
Woke up with my face in a bowl of cereal. This is tequila's way of saying fuck you.
Hey Im running from the cops. hiding in a bush. when you're approaching the intersection honk the horn twice and I will come out.
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
Shaving my legs with an ankle monitor on is surprisingly more difficult than the drunk driving that got me here
I'm about to airblow my boyfriend. I'll three-way you.
He got a new tattoo in prison. It's actually a good tattoo, making it that much harder for me to hold out until he's off house arrest.
like, there should be nothing wrong with me wanting to watch you put on a bikini and roll around in a kiddie pool of jello
I don't wanna be 33 that's when Jesus died
Everything is scary i hate being an adult i hate responsibility tell me a dick joke
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