I just saw a commercial that said "call your doctor if erections last more than 4 hours". I said "disgusting" and my mom said "I know, i hate when that happens." Get me out of here.
So I finally got the Patron washed off my boobs.
We had like 4 guys come over and buy us all drinks as an excuse to hit on Kendra. Hanging out with her is now officially fiscally responsible.
the girl next to me just texted someone in her phone named Optimus Prime
...i wonder what he did to earn that nickname
i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
all of your clothes are in the front law. btw..sprinklers go on in 20 minutes
Ps. The strap-on in the pic i sent you last night was not mine. Just wanted to clear that up.
Seriously, I'm ready to settle for ugly and unemployed as long as he has decent hygene and likes to go down.
I made out with a dude last night who has an ex wife. Is this what post grad life is about?
Pornhub is still operational. Therefore, the world has NOT come to an end in the blizzard!
I've done dumber things than this for flimsier reasons. Come with. If I pull it off I need a witness, and if I fail I need an escape plan.
His wife just cheated on him for the third time. I'm his first extra-marital fling, that makes it ok, right? You know to keep karma balanced in the universe
Your logic is flawless...
ever feel bored AND lazy?
I call it "awake" but yeah...
What's the point of having a gay best friend if he doesn't play with your titties?
I just hit 3 trees and a golf cart.. all on the same hole
Put me down for a bogey
Randomize
