Remember that night when i almost got you arrested? Is that funny yet?
So I got my period. Finally. In related news, I reinstated my belief in God.
So I was watching the View and they were saying oral sex is the new goodnight kiss
So when are we having a sleepover?
I just spilled my beer all over my laptop.. this is what i get for actually trying to do homework
he was humming party in the usa while we were having sex.
Dudes got a Polo tattoo. I don't care if he has a yacht I can't handle that level of gay.
I think she just stepped in a piece of mac and cheese, picked it off the bottom of her foot and ate it.
He was having an allergic reaction to that new brand of vodka Eric brought, so he just started chasing with benadryl.. Talk about commitment.
Just realized how sopa could affect my ability to watch porn, son of a bitch
you look like you're about to get down on your knees and give america the business.
Also, I have your check. Also, still wanna drop acid?
I flashed my cleaning lady and don't remember who I went on a date with. I know who I woke up with though, that counts right?
as much as I don't like snorting drugs, I would totally be fine with someone doing a line off my ass. that's just a whole new up
Also either i just launched into space as a rocket or my legs just orgasmed, but i am high as a soul train
He’s 48, has a Prince Albert piercing and a white Range Rover
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