it felt like I walked into a Tool Academy challenge
so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
whats the proper etiquette for returning a closet door to a random girl you met and do not know her name?
this boner is fucking legendary. i should name it and celebrate its birthday every year
You should see the damage i did to the apartment last night. So many broken things and butter sticks stuck to windows.No memorys
I waited so long to accept his friend request that he canceled it. So I added him and when he accepted I deleted him. I wonder how long this will be funny to me
who put toothpaste on EVERY doorknob in my house?!
I hope there's a soldier with a Bedazzler just going to town right now.
The walls are thin & apartments are narrow so all the bedrooms are next to each other. Our complex could compete in synchronized orgasms.
Was that your vagina? Received a text pic from a number I didn't recognize. Shaved, so no hair color cues. But it looked like your lips.
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
Look. When I let you cum on my tits don't fuck it all up by going "SKEET SKEET SKEET" it just pisses me off.
He told me I was "too flexible." Excuse me?
After all this I still can't spell gonorrhoea without autocorrect
Why did I not realize how important my fridge was till I was drunk. It keeps all my food cold its like my own cold box
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