If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
So we were in the middle of hooking up when he stopped me. I thought he was having a moral dilemma about the whole having a girlfriend thing. But no. He got down on all fours, butt naked, and started throwing up and farting simultaneously. I took it as my cue to leave.
Just saw a Mexican guy pushing a stroller with 3 twelve packs of corona in it with a toddler struggling to keep up on foot behind him
Dude he's your dog he doesn't love me more than you. I'm just like that cool uncle that takes him to burger king and to see girls.
My mom just called me to tell me that i dont have chlamydia. Awkward.
Someone was asleep on the couch next to us and woke up. We paused and he yelled "gentlemen, behold! Sex!"
I may be in the process of acquiring a second male fuck buddy and dating a girl....FUCKING STOP THE TRAIN I'M ON! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!!
I'm gonna tie him up and fart in that pathetic excuse for a mustache
Well, I washed his beard with dish soap and then I fucked him three times.
There was a trampoline and tequila. It was glorious.
apparently they stopped looking at spit swabs under the microscope in bio ever since they found a sperm cell in one students sample
All I'm saying is that if he knows his wife walks around naked during the day, he shouldn't bring a friend home for lunch and show up unannounced.
Hey, it's Valentine's Day weekend and were single and off our periods. Let's live like queens.
Life should not be this hard with a dick this big.
I'm legitimately the first person in the United States to successfully shave their balls with a Razer Blade of a sword and fully admitt it. I'm honestly smoother then a 10 year old.
Randomize
