yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
did you seriously just ask me if there is such thing as a sophisticated batman shirt?
We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
Just convinced airport security that im sober. All i do is win.
They both told everyone they fell in a mud puddle
Oh they definetly fell in the mud, repeatedly, on top of each other
he designed a suit out of pillows to protect himself when he fell.
engineering majors are such efficient drunks.
The saltiness of my tears mix perfectly with the tequila.
I'm the only adult here not drinking and their 2 year old daughter is trying to play dolls with me.. I've never been so demoralized in my life.
im really going to miss that car, so many blow jobs...
I've carried my liver for over 24 years. If it can't carry me for the next 24 hours than it deserves to be damaged.
I went commando last night, then accidentally flashed a police van...They acknowledged it.
Is there a special protocol when the stripper has a Boba Fett tattoo?
I think my dove chocolate wrapper just told me to masturbate.
Apparently I was so drunk last night I got stuck in the revolving door at the hotel. They have suveliance vidoes of it.
Access to a Target is paramount to my general happiness and self-worth.
Randomize
