You know, if there were no such thing as marriage, i don't think porn would exist.
Saying she let herself go implies she was actually holding on
halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
My insides feel lik shag carpet. It is awesome
Im a photoshop master, i successfully reduced the size of the pupils of all the girls I made out last night with to prove they were not that drunk. So glad the camera goes home with me.
You can't like Harry Potter and Twilight. You have to pick. Vampires and Wizards are mutually exclusive.
Can you explain the plethora of sunflower seeds in the dryer?
Apparently I'm the last girl he had sex with. That was over a month ago. If he can go that long without sex then he's clearly not the guy for me
I got slapped by a drag queen and bitten on the arm by either a random girl or a weird mouth shaped dog. Tough to tell without seeing the teeth
I'd help you out but I got Bacardi and Tequila poured down my snorkel last night and I'm still drunk
After sex he just told me I'm definitely pregnant and it's a girl. Should I run?
OH MY GOD did i pee on you?!
whatever. i just wanna get "forget my own name" wasted
no. you need to know your name so people know where to return you when you get lost.
I swear he is my soulmate. He kept feeding me goldfish while we were fucking. Who wouldn't enjoy that while having sex.
the person she was housesitting for had a christmas card from charlie sheen on the fridge so we fucked on the couch and just slept in the bed
Randomize
