I need to talk to you about an important matter involving lesbians.
When we were fucking, you could hear the beer sloshing around in my stomach
If you liked it then you shoulda put your dick in it, oh uh uh oh
stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
Okay, guy from work I want to fuck just told me he liked the font on my PowerPoint presentation. It is so on.
Make me proud, climb that corporate ladder.
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
My younger brother just got high fives from all my guy cousins for fucking my best friend. I hate family gatherings.
I woke up with her dog licking the wedding cake out of my ear and her sister finishing our Jaeger
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
Also, sorry about chilling in just the towel last night. You know I have ADD and somehow even after looking at you, I forgot I'm not the only person living there right now
I'm pretty sure I just need an IV drip of Plan B at this point...
Did you just send me an ass picture with a quote from the lion king?
What are you gonna do about it?
We took her out for fresh air and next thing we knew, she was stumbling around the backyard picking dead leaves up off the ground and putting them in her shirt to "save them".
Well he waved at me as he was leaving so he def noticed the staring, and by staring i mean blatant eye fucking from across the bar..
Definitely went to court without a bra and panties because Mr. LastNight’s dog stole them. I guarantee you I was the only lawyer going commando in court
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