i have i love cock written on my hand and a vagina drawn on my arm and i just finished eating breakfast with the whole fam for mothers day
ahah at least you got away with it
nope...my gran was the one who informed me
If the Four Horseman of the Apocalypse gang banged each other and had a kid, it would look like the creature I woke up next to this morning.
i gained so much weight this year, i put on my string bikini underwear and couldnt see the string anymore! i hate my life.
What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
I'm having a self conscious moment and I need your complete honest opinion of my boobs.
When are you not under some influence?
Since last Tuesday...yesterday.
Dear female. Happy valentines day. If you have not had the pleasure of making love to me, please do not fret, I will get around to it soon enough. If you indeed have made love to me, then bravo, wasn't that grand! Perhaps we should do it again? Regardless, have a good day. This has been a public service announcement. Rock on.
See what happens chris. I told u not to invite her over. Now shes on her way to jail and were stuck with two pomeranians.
He insisted he brought his alarm clock everywhere, and then the girl screamed "fuck French people!"
I mean I'm not gay but a hundred bucks is a hundred bucks
So what your saying is I can use her desperation to my advantage. Fuck, this must be how pretty girls feel.
He's like all my past boyfriends wrapped up into one fuck up. It's enjoyable to watch.
I wish to strangle
whoa there darth vader
IT'S MY BIRTHDAY. I SHOULDN'T HAVE TO DRIVE 3 HOURS FOR BIRTHDAY SEX.
Randomize
