Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
btw.sex in the wood isnt as romantic as it seems.heels kept sinking in the dirt and pine needles were sticking to the fishnets
i wish i had your life
MY DAD AND I ARE ON OUR WAY OUT OF FLORENCE AND I JUST SAW A MAN AT A BUS STOP WITH A GIMP HAND SLAP HIS DAUGHTER ACROSS THE FACE WITH IT.
did you know you can prarie-dog a fart??
Take one last look at my face, because I'm drinking it off tonight.
my mom walked in on me smoking weed alone, listening to the eagles, and just staring at the river. she totally knew.
not only did i manage to get kicked out of the bar, i also got kicked out of denny's. i didnt even know that was possible.
because you can't take the autistic girl you're babysitting on a blunt ride.
We couldn't find him for like 4 hours. Turns out he was sitting under a tree and had thrown his phone in a lake because he couldn't figure out how to unlock it. Freshmen.
So, we bought a knight today. Nearly life size. Hes in the garage, so don't be startled.
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
Congratulations, you've begun to unfuck your life.
There are condoms rolled onto each bunny ear of the ears I was wearing last night
There were firefighters and a fire truck up the street. I asked what was wrong and their exact words were "Just a tiny explosion; it'll be all right"
Do you ever wake up and realize playing beer pong with your parents wasnt a dream? Your mom really beat you
Randomize
