Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
He passed out so we kept throwing water on him, he got excited and asked if we were at the wave pool.
Afterwards she kept poking it and saying "it looks so sad and small" I dont know if I wanted to reach this state in our relationship...
so the last visual we have of him for the next 87 weeks is him outside on the ground rolling around yelling I HATE BLOWJOBS
Its people like u that make people like me go to rehab. He has a lazy eye for christ sakes.
Today I left one job interview, showed up randomly at his house for a midday bootycall then left right after to attend my second job interview. I got both jobs
It's not ok to announce to a group of people playing beer pong that a girl put her finger in your butt last night. I now know this
You said you brought chipotle into a movie and I asked you to marry me and you said yes
She's really sweet and cute, but when she drinks, she becomes way too proud of her bush.
Just scratched my head and I basically rained glitter.
my roommate was being a bitch so I changed my Netflix password on her. 21st century slap in the face ladies and gentleman
I went to Christian school in the 90s. I can finger blast anything, but dignity.
long story short, he tried to fuck me standing up, toppled over, and now I have four stitches next to my eye
My ultimate hope is that people will hug me, smell me, and therefore think I'm classy.
i realized my signature handshake has now become a hookup. i love what college has done to me.
Randomize
