she then came into the room and yelled I'M GOING TO BE A COCK BLOCK for 5 minutes
No more scars from drunken holidays, people are starting to notice.
Eating a popsicle in the shower was the best idea I've had in ages.
I gave him head in my cape. On the kitchen floor. Watching a show about bacon.
In all honesty the person most likely to secretly slip me drugs would be ... Me
he can get married early and ruin his life but he sure as hell isn't ruining mine with a shitty bachelor party
i sent my dealer a picture of the money i would pay him. i also told him i would pay him in cheez-its if he would prefer that.
Was Mr. ROBOT good? I missed it. I just fucked dental hygienist on the trampoline in my backyard
It's my birthday, dammit, and I'm getting something for free. I don't care if it's just a drink at the bar.
YOU CAN GET THIS DICK FOR FREE
My inner 10 year old alcoholic is intrigued.
sexting just seems like too much work right now.
I can't come. It's so cold my uterine walls have frozen together like a cherry popsicle.
I just woke up, its 6AM and i'm pretty sure the guy passed out next to me is 70% ugly...
I told you that we shouldn't have sex. You said "its okay I already saw you pee" apparently that was convincing
Forget Covid themed costumes. I need one that attracts a quality penis
preferably one with a six figure job and a boat
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