fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
the non-midget kid sent 8,000 texts in a month. the midget parents are pissed. THIS IS EPIC WHEN YOUR HIGH.
My teachers should feel privileged to see me this morning, after the amount of alcohol I consumed last night.
I woke up at 5 this morning face down on my bed with gummy bears stuffed in my leggings. Yeah.
God gave me these boobs for a reason other than for people to throw things down them.
mid-sex i was thinking.. these are not the right balls slapping me
Well you are. Awfully cute even. Like baby bunnies. And tiny, tiny penises. You know.
He told me I just kept sending him the word sex and dollar signs.
I jerked him off and then punched him in the face for no reason. Typical evening drinking Sailor Jerry's.
I just remembered that he had fake blood all over his face last night. I woke up with it all over my dick. He was 50. Please don't judge me.
I'm cuddling with a baby pig and drinking champagne right now.
It was either the harsh truths I was divulging or the liquor..... But either way, I made mom puke
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
We shouldn't eat pizza in the pool
We r drinking tequila out a glass bottle and smoking weed underwater, pizzas the least of our concern
You hit a new plane of existence as we all watched in awe
Randomize
