Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
he was CRYING into my vagina
She told me to stay away from him cause apparently he fucks anything that walks. clearly i responded with..."i walk"
2am update: i think I'm in Mexico but I found a dennys. Everyone but this cute family of 4 is speaking Spanish. Cute family of 4 is helping me out.
Haha so I huess that means he's a little over 7. I can use my throat as a ruler!!
One less school supply you need to buy!!
She kept saying 'I love you' but i couldn't tell if she was talking to me or to her beer.
Currently smoking a blunt with my one night stand's mom. I don't know how I should feel about this.
You were sitting in the middle of the floor spewing vodka at people proclaiming "I a whale". That drunk.
Roomie questionaires don't ask any of the important questions like "how do you feel about one night stands" and "will you judge me post-walk of shame"
I feel so bad for your roommate
Did we seriously just get into a fist fight over kit kats?
He handed me a beer to drink as he went down on me. I want to keep him
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
A homeless man just offered me vodka. The power it took to deny it deserves an award.
Nothing like a dick pic from your fave ex to make you audibly exhale sadly.
i thought the time we went to a party with no shoes on was bad, how about the time you left with no pants on?
Randomize
