So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.
look what he's done to me, i actually want to be a stripper now.
My dad just questioned my drinking habits... Clearly he doesn't know what kind of college education he's paying for
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
All I remember is that the bartender wouldn't give me scissors cuz I was too drunk
I just threw up in the bathroom next to the zebra exhibit. The kids don't know I skipped a beat. Best nanny, ever.
you almost dropped the shot glass then you thought you were such a hard ass for catching it that you slammed it on the table and broke it
Also, my phone autocorrects ENABLER to all caps. I think I drunk text the word too often.
Why is there a blood-covered "sorry about your stuff" note stapled to my door?
Aparently i was the only guy at her parents bbq throwing up in the pool so Im the asshole right...
I have just received a gold-medal-deserving sext. He wrote me a fucking novel. Not only am I incredibly turned on but I am beyond impressed. He is the sext god. I must bow to him.
Stop thinking about me and go on your date... at least I got the glitter off your face first.
It's to the point where if a guy can so much as find my clit, I'll consider him amazing in bed
i asked your drunk ass where the fuck you were going and you screamed “WENDY’S BITCH”.
Randomize
