rolled in at 7am w/ 2 girls i met at the strip club. my neighbor was getting up to mow the lawn before he took his kids to school. i'm 31. he's younger. if given the chance, you think he'd want to switch places?
is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
Charging the asians next door to us $5 a page to print their final papers because theirs broke. Bars close in 2 hours, lets go
I dont know why people are racist. Both the mexicans and the irish gave us holidays where everyone drinks on a wednesday.
The manager of the bar we were at the night before came to my house today giving me coupons. Apperently you and i won karaoke night which is a prize of 300 beer dollars. No idea what beer dollars means nor do i have any memory of doing karaoke but lets go back tonight.
Walked into a liquor store bleeding. That kind of night.
Taking my tights off outside the club to give them to the homeless man was my contribution to humanity. The fact that it was snowing just made me feel like superman.
My brother just asked if I would keep having one nighters with that guy because he really likes the organic cotton v-necks he leaves behind.
Hold on. At Sephora trying to decide what despair smells like.
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
Soooo we should kick it sometime when it's like light outside. Drink outta cups.. Be bitches. 7, 6, 3, 5.. 4, 2, 1... Sschhkiddaellladiieessscchk
I was fed cake in bed and then was pinned down and ridden till I came. And then fed more cake. I'm going to marry Brad. I'll put money on it.
My apartment looks like the apocalypse of sobriety.
I’m home.
I’m aware. I just dropped you off.
So this ukranian guy got angry and took his clothes off. Now he has my credit card and I can't find my keys.
Randomize
