Ooooh. That's not a mole. Uncomfortable.
9 of the 12 girls i had sex with in college are on facebook
it was an ugly road back then. i'm sure time hasn't been friendly.
My 40 year old neighbors are throwing a party for their eight year old niece's birthday. It's 1am and they're still partying hard. Harder than me. It's Saturday. Just say it, I'm a disgrace to the generation.
Successful New Year's Eve:: Your first shower of the year is on Jan. 2nd... 'cause you didn't trust yourself to stand up long enough on Jan. 1st. Hello 2010.
i really wish someone from a royal background would fuck me so i could literally say i was 'royally fucked'.
Something smells like weed and I think it might be my mascara. Come sniff my eyes
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
We shot off some fireworks at 12 and then I orchestrated the group singing of god bless the USA all while wearing a don't tread on me flag as a cape. I repped hard.
Omg do you remember last night you kept pointing to your vag asking who wants to play this like a fiddle hahaha
I'm thinking about slathering myself with peanut butter and going to the dog park. What's the worst that could happen?
I think the last straw was when you put on ice skates to go across the waxed wooden floor.
This chick had a microhand. Fucking, like, jerking off a baby carrot would make it look like corn.
so go get some goddamn bacon and lay in his bed naked. he'll love it.
Wasted. And I have 5 pounds of potatoes that I'm responsible for.
He is 6'5, went to a Christian school and he's a violinist....I'm going to fuck the jesus right out of him.
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