Do you need to be saved?
No I think I'm God
My New Years Resolution was to get a girl I dont know pregnant. 8 months later I can check that off the list..
i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
sticking your finger down your throat to make yourself throw up is bulimia, not morning sickness, so no, I don't think you're pregnant.
I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
The gyno asked how many partners i've had... I said ummmm she goes ok then i'll just put down ten.
It's like his dick is pushing through his pants and driving him over here.
i have at this current moment imbibed enough alcohol to float immerse or otherwise submerge a goat of respectable size. tequila
You used the best tools you had at your disposal.
Slutty, slutty tools.
Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper
My boobs keep hanging out of this shirt. I think thats the style I'm going for tonight
I got sprayed in the face with titty milk and I'm still so traumatized
Either it didn’t do much damage or I’ve lost all feeling in my asshole
They say you need two forms of ID, but in reality 1 nice set of tits works every time
I now have scissors specifically made for cutting dicks off.
Randomize