I knew I had to get an abortion when his toddler sister came up to hug my leg and I kicked her off saying, "Get off, fucker."
Living right is spending a lot of time in someone's ass
Hate sex is AWESOME! I faked it, and when she fell asleep i came in her purse.
By the end of the cruise, there was literally nothing in our room he hadn't peed on.
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
the evidence from last night is not good...
what evidence?
my underwear is on inside out, and there are french fries in my hair...
What time do you think you'll be heterosexual?
Lead with your genitals is the best advice I can give you.
My wife climbed on top of me, fucked my brains out, and gave me money from the ATM. I'm living the dream.
Dude, where are you?
In back
of car
... whose car?
Hey, Would it be ok if me and your wife have a ladies only night and masturbated on FaceTime together?
I didn't even know we were hiding from the cops, I was just playing with the cats. People kept telling me to be quiet the cops are here and I was like DID YOU SEE THIS CAT!?
The best thing about last night is when drunk Lauren asked cop if she could smoke a joint in front of him. And next thing I remember she’s smoking weed with a cop. How awesome is that.
He told us when he was 10 he started shoving bars of soap up his ass for pleasure so i winked at him
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
Randomize
