why isn't there a fb relationship option that says 'still banging my ex'
New favorite sorority...they made me pancakes in the morning and welcomed back the walk of shame girls with a round of applause
I told her the white crusty stuff on my boxers was frosting not cum. She seemed MORE grossed out then
tell me how a rose bowl party involves waking up to find a raccoon in my kitchen cabinet eating my oreos the next morning?
she tends to only attract lesbians and homeless men
Moral of the story: If you're gonna throw a glass of wine in a guy's face, don't do it in your own kitchen.
Never backflip into an above ground pool. I think the gash will be smaller by Monday though.
You have amazing self restraint. If there was one thing I could learn from you, that wouldn't be it. I love my life as it is.
You should just construct a mini-city, actually. Then destroy, photograph and post. Who could turn down a dick that conquered a whole city? Craigslist personals wont know what hit it.
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
He was wearing running shoes tho. Thats like the cardinal rule. You don't fuck a guy who wears running shoes as regular shoes.
pretty sure I woke up to him jacking himself off IN MY BED
okay yeah but you've seen me eat jambalaya naked
I think I just figured out how to make weed tea in the coffeemaker.
We played a 4 hour game of True American then we fucked on the floor for a couple hours Happy 20th to me
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