Some man just said he would jack off to my hair color.
direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
Just fucked a hooker at a motel in New Jersey. Two states down, 48 to go.
And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
its time to go be "that drunk guy nobody knows"....again.
I just feel as thought we should spend the day in which we celebrate relationships the same as how we started them. Drunken hook ups.
He can spot Burberry from half a bar away. He's not into vag
But theres a keg here and me gusta
The only thing you accomplished yesterday was dry humping me on the floor of my work place WHILE I was working.
Oh FYI, people asked how/why I met you and I didn't want to say "drunk at a party on an air mattress" so I made a story up. It was a very cute and charming story with no alcohol.
We fucked like animals and then decided we actually liked each other so then we made love. It's a match made in heaven.
I'm at the point where I'm gonna write in my mothers bday card. Happy birthday. Please stop having sex with the door open.
It's Friday the 13th and you just got boned by a guy named Jason....
Soo are you just gonna poop in my bathtub and not talk to me anymore...?
How can i make it up 2 u?
DREW I AM SMOKING POT AND FUCKING. WE CANNOT DISCUSS THIS AT THIS PARTICULAR JUNCTURE.
Randomize
