I am coming home for anal
* a nap*
Half Baked? Au contraire, Ben and Jerry, I was fully baked when I ate that whole pint of ice cream.
Just got to costco. Where are you?
Liquor aisle, bring another cart.
well tonys high enough to be moving from spot to spot around the kitchen shooting tortellini into a boiling pot and yelling "KING JAMES" whether he makes or misses it.
There's been so much talk around your vagina it's like a local celebrity
We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
CHEMICAL ENGINEER. God my mom would be so proud of me.
Is it wrong that the only reason I'd want Savannah in my wedding party is to watch her whore around and drink?
I'm sitting in my 10 am lecture drinking a flask out of a dorritos bag...I think people are starting to notice but I'm already too drunk to care
This guy is walking around with a deer head on. Honestly what the fuck
I'm pretty sure his cum gave me swimmer's ear.
It's something you'd find in the room outside of Ben Carson's sex dungeon
He took some pill and now he's on all fours demanding we give him chips from the dog bowl. Come get him.
I peed in Andys sink the other day bc I didnt want him to hear me pee
I couldnt sleep the entire night because her cats kept reaching under the door like they were trying to eat me for taking their place on her bed.
I always knew youd fuck a cat lady
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