I think I just got seasick
you're not on a boat
he has a waterbed.
Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
I'm like a rollypolly, I only open my legs up when I feel safe.
Ah, the precious few moments between when i wake up and when i realize why i'm sleeping on a treadmill.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He booked his flight from Dallas already, no ticket to the game, said hes gonna bang some girl at tailgait to get a ticket, I had to explain that it will be sub 20 degrees F during tailgate, he decided to come in july instead, Texans are dumb.
Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
you started texting yourself and saying they were "divine messages from heaven" then you threw up on stacie's piano.
just let her blow you already, it's practically animal cruelty at this point.
Guess who just screamed "Everything happens for a reason!!" in the abortion clinic. This girl.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Seriously? We dated for 2 weeks. TWO. And I've crushed his soul and put out the light in his dark world? What the actual fuck.
Yeah, well. That's what you get for dating a musician.
And the sky opened up and god said.... "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!!!!"
You fell asleep on the toilet and he was like uh should I take her off?
Damn you are the highwater mark of the naked women in my life. Like idk what lined up but yeah.
When you leave ur sleepover boy on ur front porch waiting for a cab bc work
My ex unfollowed me on SPOTIFY bruh. Freaking spotify. The butthurt is real
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