Remember, sex is not sex til both people cross the finish line. Until then, it is just a favor.
i just called corporate taco bell to ask about the life span of a chicken burrito.
i told her my name was noah and she leans in and whispers "that makes me so wet." ive never been more thankful for the Notebook
Listen, what he fails to understand is that the Olive Garden does not equal pussy.
The future queen of Norway was pregnant with a druglord's baby when she met the prince. We still have hope.
About to fuck some random fraternity guy I met at a party. I guess this would be the right time to say I don't want to be with you anymore.
He said he was trying to live vicariously through me. I didn't have the heart to tell him that meant he was vicariously fucking his best friend.
The hot guy sitting next to me in the lib is reading a book called "Impersonal sex in public places." How wrong would it be to give him my number when I bounce?
SHE GRABBED MY FULLY ERECT DICK IN A BAR AND STUCK HER TONGUE DOWN MY THROAT AND I COULD NOT CLOSE
1. Why did we have the team Chirstmas party in November 2. Why didn't anyone tell me the coaches were invited 3. Why did coach get the giant vibrator I brought
He was more upset that I got into his phone than about getting caught cheating.
I'm like a saiyan, every time I get trashed I come back stronger
Banged a girl last night wearing nothing but my Team USA Olympic jersey. I think it's safe to say that nut was for America.
My last memory of last night was being in a laundry room doing blow and admiring a washer and dryer... I think that's the earmark of old age
when I said eat the rich I didn't mean like that but here we are sucking that capitalist dick
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