You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
True love is taking a shit with the one you love in the bathroom with you.
And this is weird.. I feel slightly less depressed after shitting myself.
On my arm I have 12 dashes, and below is written "plus 2 pretty stout whiskey drinks, so, you be the judge"
I just remember getting him back by licking the window on his truck.
They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
i officially have more pictures of his dick than pictures of us together
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
Even jesus won't love me after tonight. I'm going hard.
If you're in the liquor store 5 minutes before close, and you have to ask the cashier for a coin to flip to make a life decision because "vodka takes you to a bad place," you need to reevaluate your life.
I created a photogrid for every picture he has ever sent me of his penis. Now I can see every angle at one time. THIS IS GREAT.
I think I'll bring the beer we scavenged from that other party. What goes around comes around, especially when it's Corona because that shit is not staying in my fridge
Sarah is throwing up still and I'm eating salad with my fingers
All you need is a handful of lube and an open mind
i was so proud for not passing out at the same time as usual. i screamed that i had a "new personal best!" then some jackass explained daylight savings.
Randomize
