he was wearing sponge bob boxers. Guess how long he lasted.
We folded our dollar bills into airplanes. This really makes the strippers work for it. Like air miles.
thank god dogs can't talk. they see way to much.
Quiet hours sex sucks. I hate finals.
I woke up on the stairs at of a Disneyland hotel. Yes, my night was amazing.
I think I just agreed to be an escort for an Asian guy who's gonna be in the city next weekend before he moves back to Shanghai...
I think I've reached that age where I should start dating "congrats" and not "are you keeping it?"
It took him 5 seconds to cum and then he wanted to hold my hand all night
Woke up covered in green glitter and beer. I am never leaving Ireland.
Myy bathroom floor makes me think I'm on Mars. Also. Did you realize that yesterday we perfected thee mind high-five??
Is it normal that every guy I hook up with tells me my hair is sexy as it's happening? Like that can't be normal
At a point I was just cumming dust last night
alcohol and riverdancing are a dangerous mix. have a spraind ankle. i die now
It's five in the morning. wtf?
My sister's exploding appendix just cock blocked me...
I just didn't expect to have anal in a retail store at 9 AM on a Tuesday.
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