I'm trashed wearing your mom's snuggie. She says hello.
Those balls look pretty dangerous.
she said she didn't want to sleep with me again because I wasnt a generous lover. I ignored her slight moustache, didnt i? i think thats pretty damn generous
he kept a regular condom in his wallet just so he could comment on how it wouldnt fit before whipping out the magnums. i give him points for the build up
Amazing. Super drunk. We stole a street sign in a golf cart and went around jousting trash cans all night.
What do you need? A swimsuit and a liver of steel? What else?
Dude, jerking off when you're all hopped up on pre workout energy supplements has got to be the greatest thing I've ever done.
All I remember is laying in that secret hideaway closet, naked, with a beer cowboy hat on and you walking in and sitting down crying because no one would have sex with you
I haven't received a dick pic from him lately. He's not even my boyfriend and I'm concerned. I hope he's alright.
Should I tell this TSA agent his fly is down while he is trying to hit on this chick?
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
My soul is telling me that I need to take this exam naked.
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
I'M HANGING OUT WITH THE DRUG DEALER UPSTAIRS JUST SO I CAN STEAL HIS WIFI PASSWORD, I HOPE Y'ALL LOVE ME.
just made a presentation to 40 students and my professor about morals and ethical issues..still drunk. at 8am. I wish I could remember how it went.
Randomize
