I masturbated on the webcams with my bf yesterday then typed without washing my hands first... then my roommate used my laptop it was pretty priceless
What can I say...he's packing some serious heat down there. You wouldn't expect that looking at him, huh?
I guess God knew he was going to be bald...
PS Can you transmit a UTI to a sexual partner? I tried to ask, but the doctor just told me to abstain (sup Bristol) for my own good w/o answering
My foreign exchange student got here today. I turned on man vs. food and told her that "this is all you need to know about America."
my ass has officially been on the floor of every fraternity on this campus
and who said we didn't have goals?
Tonight when I'm getting a bj from a stripper I'm gonna imagine it's you bobbing down there
Bring my gorilla suit and my bong.
Oh its going to be that type of weekend?
How bad is it that I'm banned from all of your family functions due to sleeping w/ both your brother and sister and they both hate me for pursing a relationship with either of them.
ur mom makes the best bacon
WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN MY HOUSE
A drawer in my room has nothing but a large feather quill, a wine glass, and a 15" Bowie knife. If you could put my life in a drawer I think that would be it.
Hey I'm sorry for head butting you last night. Personally I thought it was funny at the time, but I can see how from your perspective it may not have been as enjoyable for you... Hope your lip is okay.
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
My vape juice got mixed up with the astroglide.
Wow..I bet that tasted bad.
Not tasted.
It was a good thing I was on the balcony flashing those guys or I would have never seen her skipping to his car
I swear I only fuck him for the huge bottle of smart water he gives me afterwards.
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