I really wish I could go back in time to change the course of events that led to me sitting on the internet at 3 Googling 'Traumatic masturbation' while talking to you about failed dates, and running a virtual restaurant in a video game.
she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
I wasn't fucked. I was just drunk, because i was still able to walk into the woods and masterbate.
so while trying to be a healthier drunk i discovered that putting airborne in natty is not an advisable decision
I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
I just took my birth control with a water bottle I found in my purse with vodka in it in Spanish class. 10am is still too early for me.
Sounds good. I will just get tanked here and wear this batman mask.
I'm turning twenty & the only honorable way to exit my teens is by slapping the fuck outta the bag. You better be in.
Look. When I let you cum on my tits don't fuck it all up by going "SKEET SKEET SKEET" it just pisses me off.
My doctor was like "I think adderall is a great choice. It'll definitely benefit you and you say you've taken it before so you'll be fine!" \nAnd I was like "yeah bro, totally"
We should try to put a bagel on your penis
When I come home and take my bra off and I'm served with a perfect grilled cheese along with a glass of wine. Priceless.
Afternoon delight is playing while I take a shit at mcdonalds
look, bitch. one day when everyone i care about deserts me for my severe moral depravity, you're going to be the only one i have.
i can't wait.
My Boss was giving porn recommendations. I think I'm scarred for life.
Randomize
