Is it a little weird that I have a ridiculous urge to have sex while the theme song to the Pirates of the Carrbibbean blares in the background?
she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
Springtime is officially here. I just used pool water to fill up the bong
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
He corrected me on my grammar when I came. Fuck English majors.
She sent me a pic of shot glasses on fire if that tells you anything
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
I'm going to take a nap so I don't feel like a stripper sneezed in my mouth tomorrow morning at work.
I want him for more than banging and buying me potato salad. Is this what love feels like?
I just went through the Wendy's drive thru only wearing a towel. My life has hit an all time low
He convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. He slurred every word. I think I found my prince charming.
A man can only lie in bed watching COPS for so long before he wants to do things that can lead him to starring on the show.
When I woke up this morning I swear my mouth tasted like dick and rolaids.
All I want is to get shitfaced and fuck random strangers is that really to much to ask?
Randomize
