I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
I just told a dude I hooked up with last night he was the pick of the litter.
I have 11 glasses of water and one beer on the table infront of me. Have to keep going to different bartends to get more. There are only two though and I think they've caught on
Hold on. She's wrapped herself in toilet paper and is scaring the dog.
Too many margaritas?
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
Just finished off a roll of paper towels. Celebration blunt?
I don't understand but I'll be there in 5
Why are you always at the walk in clinic, Lady Chlamydia?
You're not allowed to make that my permanent nickname.
The last party at your house was a sex toy party...it's an obvious transition to baby shower
Is it considered a bad morning to find your boss half naked in the parking lot of work at 7am?
That depends, how hot is your boss?
we watched a porno and made a drinking game out of it. best first date ever.
Apparently "Do you want me to ruin your day now or later?" is not a good way to tell someone you're pregnant and it's theirs.
Man, you got so high you own goaled yourself in FIFA then got up celebrating.
And then he said, "let's have sex and I'll send you home with enchiladas."
I am a taco. I am also really high.
I've always seen you more as a chimichanga.
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