This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
I just bought a large Pizza and Xanex in the same store...my night is complete
I'm sitting in class drinking a forty out of a paper bag. No ones said anything yet. I think my professor is trying to ignore me. Better start yelling louder.
And just when I was about to fall asleep, he hit me in the face, and claimed he's a "violent sleeper".
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If by any chance I go to the hospital make sure you stuff a pint in my pockets so I can keep up.
We're smoking a joint the size of the average penis right now. I may not survive.
There is no way I am paying you $5 apiece for pot brownies you found behind a dumpster. $2, maybe.
And they were awkwardly all over each other in a Christian way.
Apparently you missed the drunkest me ever documented. I slept on the hardwood floor and left my pants on the porch to give u a frame of reference.
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She just causally held my limp dick in her hand the entire movie. Her parents were cuddling on the couch too..that brave!
Drinking and pointing where stuff needs to go is hard stuff.
He said "you speak American pretty good for a Canadian" and it took everything in me to still fuck him. Dry spell ended btw
Found out that I went to the same elementary school as the guy I'm hooking up with. Kosher or no
we started drinking at 4pm, somehows its 1 am im in bathing suit running from the cops.....any explanation of what happened?
Fursuit judi Dench just stared directly at me for 3 solid minutes telling me that cats arent dogs and i believe her because if i dont cat jason derulo might try to have sex with me
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