i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
He warned me he may piss the bed. I'm oddly okay with this.
My family just legit passed around a fifth of Maker's Mark. Also, this is sort of a Thanksgiving tradition. Also, Maker's Mark is really good.
she's just sitting here eating cilantro out of my herb garden and watching some show about ducks on tv and laughing, what the fuck did you give her?
I think I just accidentally agreed to become a surrogate for a gay couple
I CAME HOME WITH MY NIPPLES PEIRCED! WE WERE CAMPING. IN THE MOUNTIANS. I DONT EVEN REMEMBER IT AT ALL.
Taco Bell. She just parked, got out of the car mid drive-thru, ran to the dumpsters, pissed, then ran back and drove up in the line.
Her family was right next to mine during christmas eve mass. Between the terrifying glares and her trying to set my sleeve on fire during the candle part I am VERY sure she knows im fucking her ex...
have you ever seen all dogs go to heaven this is important
Head-banging is a very stupid way to injur yourself. But this opinion is also coming from somebody who can't walk right because they cut their asshole shaving last night, so it probably has little to no merit.
I was so drunk last night I couldn't see faces, only from the shoulders down.
LMAO I like how "don't worry I'll bring chasers" is your way of assuring things will be ok
I think my liver has finally had enough and is going all Ashley-Judd-in-a-Lifetime-movie on me.
Your penis caused this!
Apparently I was carrying around a bottle of listerine calling it 5 loco
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