She was like a white Oprah, but with less conviction.
this morning i woke up with my panties on and i knew where i was. success.
UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
I've also hijacked your can opener. Sadly not for the same sexual reason as the muddler.
It's like even though I'm not in college anymore my body still knows it's September and is putting itself into competitive binge drinking mode.
This santa hat i wore to the bar, served it's dual purpose as a vomit bag.
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
The bartender has no bra and is giving out free shots. Call mom I'm getting married.
Yeah. I couldn't figure out why my toes hurt. Apparently, the guy I was dancing with, kept running them over with his wheelchair.
returning from a 6am booty call in 2 feet of snow on a Tuesday is a bold new kind of low for me
So... How much of our rent is drug money?
It's such a sad loss when a hot guy finds Jesus and grows a neckbeard
Looks like it rained condoms in my room last night
Too hungover to brush my teeth. took a swig of menthol schnapps instead. lazy or incredibly efficient?
Youre my hero
I accidentally made jungle juice last night.
Randomize
