dude. late night with jimmy fallon isnt even funny. the people in the audience there to see him dont even think hes funny.
kinda like you and your friends.
No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal
he is training for a marathon but can't last more than five minutes on top. worst tuesday night ever
My head weighs 7 pounds. i know this because i spent the majority of the night passed out in the bathroom, using the scale as a pillow.
Please please please buy brown eye liner on your way home in the morning... I'm missing an eyebrow
id say I'm a pretty good fuck buddy, i didn't even booty call him on his girlfriends birthday
I am 100% planning on being drunk on Wednesday. This is America. Work or no work.
If those antibiotics mean you can't drink, ya might as well pack your bags and re-enroll next fall, because sobriety this week would be social suicide.
she was braiding my hair and singing forever young while she vommed everywhere at the same time. Talent.
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
fuck that its my house. if i want to take 1 bite out of the chicken & leave the rest i fucking will. suck my dick
Trying to figure out why my back is hurting. And then I remember I got fucked up against a tree last night
And you will die and be carried in a backpack before I allow you not to comply in this tomfoolery.
A bitchslap is in order.
I know you do it only because of my toyota, but thank you for fucking me. Seriously.
Randomize
