Friends are holding an intervention and have no idea this gatorade is half vodka. This is gonna be the best intervention ever.
We literaly had to peel your fingers off the jose cuervo bottle and lock it in someones room
Apparently my type is "guy whose parents had unprotected sex on Halloween". Last week was my ex's, my FWB's, and the guy I'm seeing's birthdays.
Code red. She won't talk to me. Maybe it has something to do with her raccoon eyes. Perry said there was a brief moment of towel fighting until you passed out. Did you draw the turtle on my ass?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've never felt so epic in my entire life as I do right now, my bare testicles staring down the ocean itself
He was crying because he hiccuped every time he kissed me. We then crawled to the kitchen because neither of us could stand, and I spoon-fed him peanut butter "to cure his ailment."
you had acid sex with the barista. why is my bucket list your tuesday?
I want what they have, but in the meantime I have a whole bottle of rum to which I'm quite devoted
I say we start a new tradition. I came up with it all by myself. It's called work out, lay out, black out
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm just that drunk tells people I love them or wants to set them on fire. Accept that.
He put rainforest music on before we had sex I felt like I was in the Amazon
We watched Purple Rain and then proceeded to have sex while listening to the album. If that's not exactly how Prince would want people to honor him, I don't know what is
Ur creepiness is now affecting my life and I'm not okay with it
just passed a kid drinking a beer at 2pm. clearly it's the last day of break.
It's weird having sex with someone you actually like
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