More tranny stories later!
You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
i'm stoned. there's a jazz trio playing outside across the street...scared that mike myers will appear & start yelling 'woman...WHOA MAN. WHOOOA MAN.' i'm snapping my fingers.
they're scary. like turkeys that ate nuclear fucking steroids.
i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
Thank God for cruise control and the Starbucks cup I had to puke in.
nothing says 'im willing to leave my comfort zone for you' like letting you choke me during sex
Taking my infected piercing out in the parking lot of the food card place. This is one of those life defining moments that makes me sad.
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
Need your help. Dad's drunk and trying to build a still in the basement.
NM he's asleep in a pile of towels. They need to ease people back into Hockey Night in Canada.
Whenever I'm hungover I try to stay in public as much as possible, hoping to be a cautionary tale to children. It's a public service, really.
I felt like I needed to shower with a Mr. Clean Magic Eraser.
I opened my eyes to the dog snorting coke, I decided it was best to just close my eyes and forget what I saw
you bounced a quarter off my butt and it came back hitting you in the eye. karma, bitch.
I feel like a dancer trapped in the body of a math instructor. Love, Mom
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