im sitting at a bagel shop wearing a princess crown hungover and have a sweater that is not mine.
its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
I have an explanation for how we got this drunk this fast... but you wont like it. We are officially in complete liver failure.
My parents just out drank me... I cant get back to college soon enough
TO ALL WHO WERE IN MY HOUSE LAST NIGHT: WHOEVER STOLE MY BONG AND PUT IT ON THE ROOF WILL BE PAYING MY HOSPITAL BILL FROM LAST NIGHT.. AND BUYING ME A NEW, SWEETER BONG.
Thanks for letting me rent out your vagina rec room. I don't expect the security deposit back.
This hurricane better not stop me from sitting on the stoop thurs & enjoying all the slutty costume walkofshamers
you were crying saying "if you love me you will find me a loaf of bread"
Sober me admires drunk me's enthusiasm, but there is no way I'm going to make it out there today.
Lol drunk you is so full ideas and happy. Sober you is full of grumpy reality.
I told him about the time I blacked out and shit myself and he still wanted to have sex with me that night. Feeling pretty optimistic about where this fling is going.
We smoked a huge blunt and then laid in bed naked eating strawberry shortcake good humor bars. We have the perfect relationship.
We were so sore from having sex that we decided to fix it with more sex. It's the hair of the dog for sex hangover.
You used his ass cheeks to demonstrate how to play the bongos and he still called you the next day. That's true love.
Where do you think black out memories go?
Into the dark abysmal abyss of the deepest, darkest part of your mind. It's obviously the bodies natural defense to protect you from witnessing the shit you do while actually blacked out.
She made kool-aid with tequila instead of water and rolled a blunt about the size of an Oscar Mayer hot dog. Best blind date I've ever had. I think I will love her tell my dieing day!
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