I can't watch pbs sober anymore
erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
I'm watching CSI, they found semen in the woman's ear.
Guess she heard her killer coming
She's mad at me cuz I told her having a fuck buddy was too much commitment.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What's your middle initial? I need it for the census. I put us down as "unmarried partners."
Oh my god... you're gay. Ps, its A.
No no. According to the 2010 US Census, we're gay.
No, seriously, 1.5 gallons of sangria plus two days of untapped cock. Waiting here. For you.
I need to stop going to bars and yelling "I could be teaching your kids one day, bitches!"
I have cum and leaves all over me. Don't ask questions.
Blacked out last night, but left myself a note that said "oops on oops on oops" that can never be a positive
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey do you eat chocolate chip pancakes with bacon in?
DO NOT MAIL ME A PANCAKE
Fucking that physical therapist guy was the best decision I ever made.
My dick looks like crazy bread
pics are now mandatory
We didn't have a place to have sex. So we timed the automatic car wash & spent $9 for 3 minutes and 45 secs of car sex.
Dude she passed out on the floor so you covered her with a blanket to make sure "no one would notice her"
And when she started moving around and making noises you told everyone, "it's okay, it's just my roomba under there".......
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
Randomize