He just seriously used the word "skeet." Can we please find another way to get weed?
No. Take one for the team.
I blacked out, fell off a swingset, and thought I was Liz Lemon for almost an hour.
All I remember was after sex she kept trying to take pictures of my dick "for memories"
Dude, sorry for live texting you my binge drinking. If you'd like me to do the same for my hangover, I can share that I just had to sit down while q-tipping my ears.
Dude, I think shitting blood should be a cause for concern not celebration that you had a great night.
You should have hard cock pics on hand to send in the situation that you can't stop driving, pull out your cock, browse the countless pics I've sent you of my tits, get him hard and text a pic through. I mean, it's simple sexting ettiquette.
Admit it. It's a brilliant plan with hundreds of possible repercutions.
Understatement of the year.
I'm throwing in the towel on today. The puke gods have won this war
This is the drunkest I've ever been at a chili's
She sent me a pic wearing only my batman cape. She stole my cape dude!
Get ready tonight we are going to get drunk and pierce my nipples
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
I had to take on your role as drunk idiot....I have no idea how you do it so well and so regularly. That shit is exhausting.
Double-fisting ice cream and wine. Do not send help.
I never thought I'd be judging my neighbors sex lives before age 30 but here we are
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