I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
happy early fathers day!!!
im not a father
about that...
Same, I didn't even get to be tarzan this summer
you should buy a sheep. A) you get an awesome pet. B) free coat
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
Took an impromptu nap on the floor of a starbucks bathroom using my backpack as a pillow. Please tell me you have been this hungover
I miss the smell of you or some shit.
The good news is the house is clean, the bad news is someone redecorated the bonus room by spray painting "free willy" on the wall in honor of the girl who passed out in there last night.
Well it involved jumping two nine foot fences. But when you mix alcohol and persistence you can't lose.
Update: that felon in Georgia I slept with is now a police officer. What a wonderful world
God is tempting me with everything tonight. Brownies and dick, mostly.
Is there something wrong with us? Seriously.
Possibly, but I'd rather not fix it.
I just chased my hot mailman down the street to ask him out and now I am 98% positive he gave me a fake number.
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
i buy too many watermelons when I'm drunk
Randomize
