its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
have you seen my purse? i cant find it and my ipod is in there and that shit totally cost more than my abortion.
we had to stop you from eating moldy cake.. twice.
Um I think everyone drunk and there's some douche on violin.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
well that explains the french fry and ketchup packet rolled into the wasitband of my sweats. thank you drunk me.
It was like being fucked by the god of thunder, he gained power from the storm. I took a Plan B because I don't think regular birth control will stop Thor's sperm.
i can't believe he threw up on you. Well thats what you get for being DD. I used the sombreros as a shield!
I am tired of banking on my penis size to overcome my lack of game.
But the Super Mario beer pong table is more than appropriate.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When you're a bigshot ER surgeon and I'm a starving artist, I want you to remember who held your hair last night.
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
you know what? fuck you, fuck your nana, and ESPECIALLY FUCK THE BLACKHAWKS.
Is there a single word to describe 'the last guy she slept with before meeting her husband'? Cause there should be.
I TAUGHT HER CAT TO SIT. CATS DON'T FUCKING SIT ON COMMAND. BUT THIS ONE DID!
It's basically my crowning achievement.
fucking him is like fucking old faithful. you could set your watch by his orgasms.
Randomize