obviously my correlation between being a pro surfer and being extremely good in bed was 100% wrong.
Hurricane Earl: Get Blown party at my house friday! Byob: bring your own bitch/booze. Must have 80s blown hair style, kazoo/noise maker (vuvuzelas/airhorns are allowed), and/or bubble wands. \n
Why am I even shocked you're doing this....
nothing like a tattoo of a large eagle attacking a small eagle whos attacking a shark to bond to siblings together for life
Just sucked my third dick in the past twelve hours. I must want AIDS.
Was awful. Wedding photos taken by a river with used syringes floating past. Had to ask the bride to put down a can of rum to have her photo taken.
Should have told me the night we were talking about deal breakers that vomming outside your car was one of them. I would have taken a cab back
I'm at work. It's margarita night. Someone literally just shouted "MURICUH!"
God bless us, everyone.
You think you know everything because you're wearing a sweater
Blocking me on Facebook doesn't change the fact that you've had my penis in my mouth. So there's that.
Come over. And we'll put iced coffee in the bong.
in a meeting in my bathtub while predrinkin for tonight. technology.
Does this mean I have to put a bra on now
I love you more than sex with randoms.... and we all know how much I love that shit.
I just took a shot before my midterm. Gotta keep things in perspective.
Going through his web history. 10 hours ago he searched "how to put on condom with your teeth" I think I'm getting it tonight.
Randomize
