i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
Don't interrupt me, I have a limited time to be high and thus be remarkably good at Pac Man
i deep throated a ruler to see what my limit was...
I just had sex on a bear rug. My life is complete.
After you verbally abused the McDonalds employee for not making your fries fast enough, the fact that you woke up on a random lawn does not surprise me.
I look like one classy bitch running in heels through my backyard while carrying a small dog and a large bottle of booze. How am I still single?
Seems like you've kicked summer 2012 off well.
just woke up in a camero on the way to nebraska, i would appreciate it if you answered your phone.
I always "accidentally" drop a condom and make sure she sees it's a magnum. By the time I'm inside her and she realizes how small I am, it's all over in a flash and I'm done. Plus, they never call back so I never have to see the girl ever again. #gratefulforprematuretinypenis
So we were having sex and his roommate walks in eating a bag of chips. Then proceeds to talk to us about his bitch of a professor.
Did he at least offer you guys chips?
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
If you could watch a water balloon run... That's what it's like watching her run.
I think your dad took our porno
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
I gave your mom a discount on her coffee, its my way to say thanks for having a son that makes me come every time
I am drunk shake weighting right now.
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