Apparently he doesn't remember leaving the bar
If I spent $100 at the bar and didn't get laid I wouldn't want to remember anything either
just used a paint mixing cup as a shot glass. thank u art school.
We were fucking on his hammock and right as he came we flipped over. I landed on him, he landed on a pile of pinecones. We're done with nature sex.
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
He's going to regret telling me he doesn't care if i shave or not...
Why the fuck did I wake up in a chair with mouth clamps?!
he busted into the room with single cheese slices and started yelling "THROW SOME CHEESE ON THAT BITCH"
I just threw up again because I opened my eyes... God is laughing. I resorted to taking the Mexican Dramamine because I feel seasick from walking. Not helping.
It's the best! If I had one wish it would be for life to be one really long gay porno. Thats what I wish for during every 11:11.
I just sent a bad sext to my sister. There's not even a way to damage control this, is there?
Thursday is not a good day to become a felon... It's bingo night
STOP HOOKING UP WITH SOCCER MOMS! YOU ARE RUINING MY REPUTATION!
There is a video of you making out with him, flipping off the camera, and holding the plastic flamigo that you had just stolen out of a yard
Because cocaine and lesbian hookups on a Tuesday cannot be the new normal
Nxt time we drink that much, we'll have to hide the crayons. Crayola-ing a mural on the living room wall wasnt the brightest idea, but it sure is classy. Right?
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