I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
The more I sober up, the more sick I am/realize how weird dancing around a wine bottle was
S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
my mind is a poorly written porno when i'm drunk.
..i think i can hear you losing your virginity
I am assuming I was his dirty Mardi Gras mistake and I can live with that
Not enough. Tell the person next to you to give you their drink. I give you permission. And then chug it. Be a hero tonight.
wow, you never really realize how many muscles you have in your crotch until you pull them all.
This is one of those times I wish I had a time machine so I could go back and punch myself in the face to make me realize what I need to do before it's too late
I have walked into stripper central, but I'm on the street at 1:00 in the afternoon
Nothing says "forever alone" like receiving a friendship bracelet from your parents.
Rule 1: If any of us dies on a trip, the other two have to 'Weekend at Bernies' the shit outta that corpse...
Were you the one who yelled "FOR GLORYHOLE!" then punched a hole through my door?
What would I even say at the wedding? "Sorry that I still wouldn't sleep with you after four years of you trying...but hopefully my sister here isn't that stubborn" and give him an awkward pat on the back?
if you want the landscaping job, the uniform is a speedo. no exceptions.
Randomize
