I'm wearing a childsize birthday hat and a bib. I am the def of sex appeal rite now
you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
When I masturbate I pretend my dick is the slap chop an I'm destroying vegtables. Do you think that's a eating disorder?
At least a dozen asian tourists will be showing their friends pictures of me peeing off of Hoover Dam with a cop pointing his gun at me when they get home. I worry about the impact on their children.
Where can I buy a trophy for a Groupie Award?
She had sex with a merch guy. . . band guys make you groupies, Merch guys just means she's easy.
Yo. I have a shitload of cardboard. We have to build a smoke hut in the smoke room with a tunnel connected to a cat house. This way the kitty can join us whenever she pleases
You know me. im down for anything that could harm my well being. lets dress like dolphins so everyone will see what dicks they are.
I have better things to do with my life than be faithful.
Come get your boy. He's cuddling with a bag of rice on the floor.
Got home to the hotel 3hrs ago per texts sent not in english to not a full phone number
When do you want to get tanked and forget our entire college education?
Good, be his mentor. Like a tiny gay Yoda.
I wouldn't call us friends exactly. Honestly I just hang out with him so I can hit on his girlfriend. They won't last long, and I'll be there to pick up the scraps
An old biker dude just flirted with me at Food City. I enjoyed it. God damn I need to get laid.
Randomize
