why would she put his p in her m after it was in her a? that's gross
its gross she let him put his p in her a nevermind his p in her m after p in her v. cleaning up is necessary
i put my m on your v after my p was in your v. no big deal
Even his old football coach jokes about how big it is. I don't want to be alone in a room with him and that monster.
We're the only two others left at work. My internal monologue is going: TAKE ME. TAKE ME NOWW. ON THE COUNTER. IN FRONT OF THE MANAGER. JUST TAKE MEEE
You get drunk and try to bury your girlfriend in the sand JUST ONCE and all hell breaks loose
Can I steal her, take her home, and feed her only vodka?
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
Also, upon examining the photos, I have concluded that you were the sloppiest drunk girl of the night. And that's saying something considering Hurricane Jessica was in town.
Donating $10 to Sandy victims for every hurricane I drink tomorrow. Buying me alcohol just became a good cause.
I'm just gonna start letting dudes eat it. American idol for my vagina
My girl came home. i was jacking off on the couch and she just starts telling me about her day, as if im not half naked with my hand on my cock.
We're making a scrapbook of dick pics, you want in or what?
I feel like a grown up and it scares me so I'm hiding out in the bathroom stall and messaging you
No dude 10 parakeets in your bedroom is 9 parakeets too many. Bring them back. Today!
i need you to come over and tell me if you can notice that i'm only wearing a teddy underneath my trenchcoat
Gameplan: If the cops show up, find a potted plant to hide behind... It's worked before!
Randomize
