if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
I had sex with him, and then he gave me a $5 Starbucks gift card. Totally worth it
My vagina just recognized that song.
The size of her vagina has nothing to do with the size of her heart bro
i DID try to find you last night. i asked where you were and you texted me the letter "e" and a picture of the dark.
Thanks for letting me rent out your vagina rec room. I don't expect the security deposit back.
There's green glitter on my nipple rings. #mardigras2013
Cause I know you wanna ride the D like a Vespa in ROMAN HOLIDAY
I can't tell if this is a hangover or just a perfect combination of shame and regret
I woke up in a front yard I didn't recognize to a grandma tapping me with her foot. What was in that punch?
You threw away your W2 to make more room in your purse for liquor.
I told my mom that I was just gonna go check the mail. It's been 19 hours, and I woke up in a hot tub covered in chocolate, with a text from her sayin "have fun sweetie"
We need a signal or code word for "I basically shaved my whole body and we should touch each other tonight".
You seem like the type to go to a craft sale baked out of your mind. I like you.
Randomize
