I haven't had sex in so long I'll probably find some stranger, feel guilty, go w/o sex for several months and do it all over again...always something to look forward to
My t9 writes chubies instead of bitches.
either way. win, win.
They upped the price of Plan B! Rite-aid is going to be the reason I have illegitimate kids.
I only have two new blunt burns this year as opposed to freshman year's 6. This is growing up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I need to stop fucking people before I get to know them
No He hasn't done that since the time he came in his own eye
A French guy bit my cheek. Is that sexy there? Also had to threaten to stab the bus driver. I'm not sure I like Europe.
I picked the lock on the bathroom door and sang him a song while he pooped. Why is he mad?
I'm gonna make a mold of your dick so I can make popsicles
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
holy shit i just had sex in a phone booth i so feel young again
Dude. Stop sending me lines from Hungry Like the Wolf
I wanna die. I can't recall the last time I was happy that doesn't involve your hand touching my butt.
No way hahaha I have zero intention of adding him I wanna just join in on a three some but mostly just be there for moral support and snacks
all I want for my birthday is booze and sex toys. don't bother calling if neither of those are included.
hey, so i dont know your name. but im guessing we had sex last night. seeing that you're in my phone as "had sex time thursty thursday guy"
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