I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
I can feel the alcohol in my calves
I cannot take someone's straight and gay virginity in one threesome. It's just too much responsibility.
I am in fact going to raffle myself off for a night. If you are interested in buying a ticket let me know. $10 a ticket.
Steve just broke his bong and some kid in an american flag bathing suit and no shirt just fell down the stairs. Its dangerous here
You do resemble something that has been used as a chew toy.
Took me 10 minutes of oral to finally get him hard for like 30 seconds of sex until he came and passed out. Def not worth the ROI.
Funny, 'cause his story is it went great. He faked passing out so he wouldn't have to do anything in return.
I am now being bribed with one orgasm per every meal I eat. This is the best anorexia therapy ever
It's really funny to see the look on the sales lady's face when she asks why you're replacing a painting. "I knocked it off the wall during sex w/ my heels," wasn't what she expected.
On a side note...my DUI lawyer just snapchatted me. This is the exact moment in time when I realized my like IS a joke.
Pencil dick carries the name proudly.
No celebraish? But today's the day that Jesus, Bruce Springsteen, and a flock of bald eagles came down from the heavens in fighter jets with electric guitars and M-16s a blazon, saying "Hey America, fuck the Red Coats, it's time to party"
I can't believe i just offerred a guy a burrito and head, and got turned down. Officially celibate now.
Where you at? Come home and endure this shit show called "The Second Presidential Debate".
You walked in with a bag of weed and asked for a watermelon. For some reason they actually gave you one, and you made it into a perfectly working bong. Two of them offered their girlfriends to you for the night.
Randomize
