I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
I am too high to leave where I am...And they are listening to Stained. This is my living hell.
dude.. you lit a cigarette on the bus and told the driver it was okay because you were fire marshall of your boy scout troop
i just got a clause named after me in the 'alcohol and drug use' section of the handbook. this is certainly a warning sign.
Was just shown the photos from a professional photoshoot my aunt had for their dog...not drunk enough for this...
I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
Oh and jess is gonna pee in our guest bedroom to mark her territory.
I'm still waiting for my blazer that I left at your apartment, you owe me a blowjob for every day from Thursday on that it's late.
I think I'm going to postpone my photo shoot until my Gpa dies. I don't want to be in lingerie and stripper heels when I finally get the call
Blacked in riding a tandem bicycle with a stranger. We stopped for hot dogs.
I'm about to do the walk of shame in a christmas onesie. What would I do without christmas sweater party season?
I had lunch with him today and quietly mourned his wasted good looks on such a disappointing set of genitals.
WHEN THE FUCK DID MCDONALD'S DECIDE TO QUIT SERVING BURGERS AT 1:00AM?
I would peed on everything
All of a sudden he got that look on his face and ran to the dance floor and started fist pumping to Rihanna that kind of night
wow. that really looks like a penis. not a top hat
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