Raise your hand if you bought 2 annoying girls shots of water. CLOWNS.
HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
Alone. In an inflatable pool. Drinking vodka and raspberry lemonade. I don't need approval as much as I need to know you love me still.
As long as you don't die I'm in full support of your drinking decisions
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He just said "fuck you" to the bowl he's eating things out of
What's a nice way of saying "You fell asleep, and I got bored, so I made out with your brother"?
marshmallow pipe was a success. so was melon pipe. come try it
my roommate is sobbing and looking at photos of elephants. i'm so confused.
I don't care what the Chinese zodiac calendar says . . . 2015 is the year of the cock!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't think meeting his drug dealers counts as a relationship landmark.
I found a hot kiwi last time and sucked his dick. That's what rooftop bars are made for.
I wanna get to the point where I can just send a question mark and get an exclamation point in response
I CAN SEE SO MANY PENISES. There are so many visible penises here.
Where are you???
Yoga class :(
Oh? And how would you explain this to your kids?
"Well pumpkin, when mommies and daddies have loved each other so much for a really long time, sometimes they trade off with other mommies and daddies"
I boned my sugar daddy for the first time yesterday and now I know why they say guys in their 40s are the best. Also I’m getting a car.
Randomize