Not only did I see you last night, you had me help you meet women by convincing them you were deaf and only I understood your sign language
so I told him I hadn't been laid since Bush was president. Right after he cums, he says "Welcome to the Obama Administration".
I fucked the bump it out of her hair. just had to let everyone know.
just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
"I could never have "feelings" for someone who, at one point, wanted to "hate fuck" my face."
i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
If I don't wake up hungover in a ditch Monday morning I will consider my halloween a failure
Just drive me around campus, I will be able to smell their innocence.
She wasn't to happy when she went to put her shirt on and it was covered in cum I just looked at her and said collateral damage....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i swear, as soon as they invent a cure for herpes, he's mine.
Just realized how sopa could affect my ability to watch porn, son of a bitch
That awkward moment when you can't tell what smells like tacos: you, the cat, or the strange guys blanket your so tenderly swaddled in.
ted dressed as a cardinal led an expedition across campus. i felt like one of the 12 apostles.
So, left this guys house wearing a #1 Grandpa shirt and I think this is the best sex score I've ever had.
so he found out i have him as "average size" in my phone. fair to say we arnt going to be dating anymore
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