matt is drinking blue powerade and it looks like he has hypothermia. i can't take this kid anywhere.
Ur just texting me random shit. That's what Twitter is for
I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
Always fun waking up to 911 as your last dialed call.
he was banged his ex for coke the whole time and is still the best guy so far this year. standards need to be raised.
What sexual position says im sorry for your loss?
Also, upon examining the photos, I have concluded that you were the sloppiest drunk girl of the night. And that's saying something considering Hurricane Jessica was in town.
Using Michelob Ultra as champagne.
I feel like im becoming the girl who only drunk texts him. I would be in the dog house, if situations like this had dog houses.
No fucking judgements. You know me. Chinese food vent sessions are safe places.
Was I at least a good cuddler? Like at least honorable mention?
He fucking took my shirt off and didn't even touch my boobs. What the actual fuck.
I thought it was improvement but then i realized sex isn't an emotion and I hate everyone
Well I woke up naked, with a santa hat on, and a bag of beef jerky next to me. So yeah, I would say it was a pretty successful trolley
He said I taste like cake. Like funfetti. So I feel like if he doesn't come back for that he's just dumb
Randomize
