I had a disgustingly explicit dream last night involving myself and lil wayne.
So someone hacked my email and facebook and posted a boob pic I took a few years ago as my profile picture. I feel like an MTV commercial.
Well if I am having twins, at least I'll finally have 2 kids by the same father.
I told the girl in his bed not to bleed on his sheets like the last one.
There is a pube in my fucking eyeball
I just need to go to a bar tonight wrapped in an American flag singing the national anthem
that's probably because you left your arm in the fishtank for 90% of the night
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
You'd think somebody who rolls blunts like jesus himself could roll a god damn burrito
The only thing I remember from last night is being naked in his bed if that's not summer drinking at it's finest then I don't wanna live anymore
SO EXCITED ABOUT STRING CHEESE RIGHT NOW
WHY DID HE INTRODUCE ME TO HIS MOM? CAN'T HE JUST HIDE ME LIKE EVERYONE ELSE I'VE EVER DATED?@!
Asking me to suck on my nipples isn't going to make me less mad at you.
We were supposed fuck one time, but ended up fucking for 2 years.
I continue to impress myself. Also I'm probably pregnant
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