she was trying to give me a handjob in biology class while we were learning about the penis.
I am not one to point fingers but since it says your name "wuz here" next to the dick drawn on my stomach I am holding you personally responsible.
I got to the point where it seemed like she had 8 giant breasts instead of just two
I was only out of town for 1 week. His cell records show he texted 63 ex-gfs and hookups while I was gone. And 10 condoms are missing.
If there's so much of a hint of a whisper from somebody I didn't tell personally, I will cut off your balls with a chainsaw, cauterize the wound with a flaming rusty spoon, feed your balls to your dog, and feed them to you when he shits them out, capiche?
I dont think I should be allowed to pick my own boyfriends anymore
I just wanted to let u know that I called the taco people and informed them what the fuck is up.
My 7 yo sister is trying to talk my mom into buying her a strawberry margarita. Happy Cinco de Mayo.
On celebration of the Supreme Court ruling I feel it is our patriotic duty to have a threesome
We are all yelling at the cat at our apt in nothing but our underwear. How do you think it's going.
Walking towards a police car with full spotlights on you while being fully erect..awkward exp. for both parties
He was eating my ass and came up for air, I almost choked laughing because he had a toilet paper cling on stuck in his mustache
I love that you'd blow off your high school reunion to get shit faced in an aquarium with us
Um. We all know how I feel about sea life
Micheal let me call him captain america while we fucked. It was awesome
I want to get drunk and watch somebody else's tragedy.
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