sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
this boner is exhausting
Highlight of my evening, pile of books falling onto me in front of people
I wanna fuck padma even more now that she's preggers. Is that sick?
Yes but- 100% agreed
he was so high that he wouldn't speak to anybody for like 30 minutes, he'd only gobble, like a turkey.
I remember tearing his shower curtain down but I don't remember trying to shave my vag...
You called me at 2am singing 'happy birthday' while screaming 'I fucking love you' verses, all while eating a burrito and taking a piss off your apartment balcony
Yeah I know, the people below me already told me
he was definitely TRYING to give me herpes.
There is a 90 percent chance I threw up in a mailbox last night....
I enjoy the level of friendship we have achieved until you ask me to determine what may or may not be gentile warts via iphone pic
I got my period during my acid trip. It was weird.
why did i wake up in the bathroom?
we had to stay with you a while until we convinced you it wasn't safe to wash your face, then you fell asleep with your foot in the toilet.
I just woke up to my family in the living room watching our security camera tape of me last night talking to a stop sign in our backyard... How the fuck did I get that in the yard?
She called a 10 year old handsome and we gave her a look that was equal parts confused and “what the hell is wrong with you”
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